I Play Ventriloquist

I play the ventriloquist.

Begging you for help.

But I don’t let you see

the words forming from my mouth.

I need you to step in,

when I’m sinking in to do’s.

House work, school work, three children.

Way too much to do.

Sports take all evening.

E-learning takes all day.

Let’s not forget meal prepping

and bathing not too late.

Myself is losing focus.

Forgetting who I am.

No time for self reflection.

No time for where I stand.

This is for the parents out there struggling. I feel you. We normally live a very busy life with three daughters and we have a very busy schedule. Lately along with the rest of the world, our lives have gotten way more stressful and chaotic as we fight to do the right things while trying not to take away from the children. I choose to live a very full life with them and right now with them all so young it is very easy to lose who I am. I am so very thankful and lucky to have a husband who battles time along with me to help save my self identity. He helps me make time and pushes me to follow my dreams so that after parenthood I will not have lost myself. I know that not everyone has that. So if you do not have that person, you need to be that person. As hard as it is to find time for yourself and for your goals, you need to keep on fighting. You are YOUR savior. I choose to conquer one small goal at a time each day no matter how small. You can do the same. You can do that and be in this battle right along with me and countless others to save our true selves who we have pushed away. We are all in this Battle for Self Identity together all fighting our own obstacles. We can have the role of parent and take on the smaller battles until we have time to tackle the bigger ones when we can focus more on ourselves. You can do both. You can be a parent and fight not losing yourself. Just work on not letting your true self slip away behind all the chores, sports, cooking, cleaning, and mile long lists. We are in this together. Be true to yourself, forgive yourself, and know that you are YOUR savior. Give yourself time.

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