Courage Gained by You

To the man who gave so many hope when there was none and who put a fight in their veins. What a devastating loss but so much was gained by you and your courage. Today is your day to be remembered. Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day

Reading Stack(s) January 2021

Nothing like starting the year with a good book! Hoping that every one of these finds a way into my heart and mind. I had just finished The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson which was such an eye opener to start the year. The book I am reading now also has me engrossed. This holiday season has been so good to me that I feel so blessed. There is no better gift than the teachings of life through writing. Give me many journeys to go on even if I can’t go in physical form and I’ll be your friend forever talking over the journeys with you.

I Play Ventriloquist

I play the ventriloquist.

Begging you for help.

But I don’t let you see

the words forming from my mouth.

I need you to step in,

when I’m sinking in to do’s.

House work, school work, three children.

Way too much to do.

Sports take all evening.

E-learning takes all day.

Let’s not forget meal prepping

and bathing not too late.

Myself is losing focus.

Forgetting who I am.

No time for self reflection.

No time for where I stand.

This is for the parents out there struggling. I feel you. We normally live a very busy life with three daughters and we have a very busy schedule. Lately along with the rest of the world, our lives have gotten way more stressful and chaotic as we fight to do the right things while trying not to take away from the children. I choose to live a very full life with them and right now with them all so young it is very easy to lose who I am. I am so very thankful and lucky to have a husband who battles time along with me to help save my self identity. He helps me make time and pushes me to follow my dreams so that after parenthood I will not have lost myself. I know that not everyone has that. So if you do not have that person, you need to be that person. As hard as it is to find time for yourself and for your goals, you need to keep on fighting. You are YOUR savior. I choose to conquer one small goal at a time each day no matter how small. You can do the same. You can do that and be in this battle right along with me and countless others to save our true selves who we have pushed away. We are all in this Battle for Self Identity together all fighting our own obstacles. We can have the role of parent and take on the smaller battles until we have time to tackle the bigger ones when we can focus more on ourselves. You can do both. You can be a parent and fight not losing yourself. Just work on not letting your true self slip away behind all the chores, sports, cooking, cleaning, and mile long lists. We are in this together. Be true to yourself, forgive yourself, and know that you are YOUR savior. Give yourself time.

The Poetess

The musk of her words

Brings tears

like rainfall.

A weeping rain.

Heart caged.

Pulling at the bite.

The poetess.

Destroyer of Content.

The Bringer of the Real.

Keeper of the Imprints of Hearts.

When her words fall,

the world aches.

And there is no thing as a better place or time.

An Eight Year Old Reader

My daughter is so cool. She is eight and loves many things including Legos and playing Pokémon, both table top and electronically, but she especially loves to read books. I don’t know what I am happier about, that she loves to read in generally or that her taste is absolutely fantastic. I cannot wait to see what her library looks like when she gets older. 🙂 I also cannot wait until she is old enough to read the books that I have written. I know that they will fit in perfectly with her taste. A taste that we haven’t even influenced, but that is apparently genetically in our souls. ❤

Feeling Known

Happy Day After Christmas!!! I hope yours was full of comfort in some way or another to help you feel a little better after how this year has been for everyone. I just wanted to excitedly show the book world how awesome my husband was to me this holiday. I am not the biggest fan of getting gifts because I take gifts so personally. I believe that gifts really show me who knows me well or who doesn’t. So I would rather people not get me anything than get me something that shows they don’t know me well because my excitement mainly comes from how well I am known than by what I get. I know I am the way I am because of something from my childhood, which obviously I won’t get into, but my husband made me really feel special by giving me these gifts. And I figured that if someone else is like me that they may get a kick out of the awesomeness of these gifts. He got me an owl lamp for my bedside reading since my lamp previously was not bright enough to do reading at night. He also got me a book series set that I am excited to dive into, another book, and some awesome bookmarks!! This is the world I live in and love to live in in my mind. These gifts speak to me and help make my world a little brighter and help the oddness of the real world feel like home. I am grateful for a husband who can give me that. I am grateful to feel known. I know many other fantasy readers out there or readers in general will understand. ❤

To Be Read Stack Update for December 2020

Most of these are in the order I plan to read them, but there are two other ones that are in their box set on the shelf that also belong to this stack. I am working hard between E-Learning for a Kindergartener and a 2nd Grader, entertaining and giving the necessary love and attention to our two year old, taking the girls to their three sports throughout the week, all the holiday family things we do, and the work I make sure I put in everyday to my career to decrease the pile, but of course the urge and need for more books always comes calling. Hahaha. I’ve already ran out of room on our shelves, made more room, and now am about to run out again, and personally I can’t wait until I do. Maybe I can convince the husband to buy me another shelf. 😀

Parade Me Books

Parade me books so that I may understand all the pain that the world can hold and all the struggles that suffocate a human life. Don’t let me die naive to the agonies of existence. Don’t let me pass without living each and every way in between the black ink of every story.

I Will Soar Broken

My body decides to collaborate with my mind only when it is to achieve my downfall. People say the mind is a powerful thing, but forget the spirit. My spirit will never fail or fall no matter how far stress takes me under. Eat my mind, destroy my body, but I will soar a broken angel.