One thing that is hard for everyone and anyone to deal with is illness. It is difficult knowing that you could feel “normal” and enjoy every little ounce of life, but you feel like you can’t because you have some malady holding you back. It is hard constantly having your body remind you that you are sick and tired making it near impossible to ignore your illness that is screaming at you to have a bad time. It doesn’t matter if you just got the illness or if you have been living with an illness for what seems like forever. It always sucks and it always hard to deal with.
I was diagnosed with my chronic disease when I was really little. Most people get hypothyroidism when they are older, but I was one of the “lucky” few to get it when I was a kid. Being a child and having to get poked with needles all the time and having to take a pill everyday to stay afloat and feel OK, sucked. And it still sucks today. It sucks knowing that my life and enjoyment depends on that pill. It sucks knowing that one day that pill might stop working for me like my Synthroid decided to randomly stop working years ago. It sucks knowing that I will never get better and that everyday I have to push myself harder than most people to have the body that I want. It sucks not understanding my emotions most of the time and getting depressed when I have absolutely no reason to be depressed at all anymore. And it sucks even worse when you find out you also have an autoimmune disease, and that now your body has decided to start attacking your thyroid when it already was having a hard time doing its job before. So illnesses suck. Any which kind of illness sucks and any which kind of illness is hard to deal with.
Besides the fact that it is harder to enjoy yourself and do what you need to do with an illness, it are also scary because you don’t know what to expect. Our bodies are amazing, but have many flaws. All we can do when we have an illness is to just try to deal with it in the best way possible and try to find the good things in as many things as we possibly can. But it is OK and there is no reason at all to feel guilty for sometimes wanting to give up, for sometimes feeling bad for yourself, for sometimes feeling angry at the world, or for sometimes crying your eyes out for something that you cannot change. Illness is not fair. We didn’t ask for it. We sometimes didn’t even do anything to deserve it. We are only human and our minds, like our bodies can only take so much and sometimes needs a little break from being strong and should be allowed to let go for a second. You are allowed to cry. You are allowed to scream. You are allowed to stop holding up the world for a brief moment so you can catch your breath.
I’m not saying completely give up and that life isn’t worth living when you have an illness. The opposite is actually true because on your good days, which we all have, things are more precious and more enjoyable than they typically would have been because you have fought so hard to be standing where you are at the moment to enjoy them. All I am saying is it is OK to let yourself feel for a moment. It is OK to acknowledge that life isn’t fair before you tackle your dreams. It is OK to be sick because sick or not you matter, and you will become the best person you can be and we will all look up to you for it. Illnesses suck, but you don’t have to suck along with it.