
Brutal is the monster who doesn’t even know my name.
The man who devoured me.
Ate away my soul.
Day after day.
Only for loving you.
Freeing the Mind and Defining the Body
Dive into the lost aspects of your mind and soul.
Brutal is the monster who doesn’t even know my name.
The man who devoured me.
Ate away my soul.
Day after day.
Only for loving you.
A pause
That’s what I need
But time won’t let me have it
A moment
Is what I starve for
With just me and you
A second
Is what I beg for
To get lost in the emotions
A minute
That’s what I plead for
To forget losing you
Can you ebb away my happiness?
I don’t want to hope
Memories break down on me
Broken glass, a shattered trope
Can you bring me realization?
A world too physical to breathe
I need to not drift elsewhere
I need truth too sharp to sheath
     So, as you can see my husband worked a lot and nonstop so he could build the dream life he wants for himself and his family. He still continues to do this to this day, but so far things have gotten better. Throughout the years though it was not easy waiting with the heart breaking for the one you love to return and fill you with the love you so desperately needed to be filled up with again to keep going. My husband is a hero in my eyes, not just for working as hard as he has forever for us, but for fixing me and getting me to the point where I can actually look at myself in the mirror and not completely hate myself. He helped me get to a place where I never thought or dreamed I could have ever gotten to. I can actually love and enjoy life now and focus on my goals instead of battling with myself mentally and physically every day. I truly owe him my life. But as I said, the journey was not easy. There were a few times that depression and loneliness started to work deep into my mind and made things harder than they needed to be. Not today, but Tuesday I will continue this with some of the more deeply broken poems where I started to lose hope that things would ever get better and I started to lose faith in our bond. Â
(Sorry about there being no spaces between paragraphs and poems. For some reason it won’t let me fix it and it only wants to stay this way. Except for this last paragraph.)
I want you.
My body, my mind, my soul
it screams for you,
it lusts for you.
I search…
Search every city,
every town,
every dream,
but I can’t find you.
You’re lost.
I’m lost.
I’m just left to wonder
if you ever did exist.
A poem I did in early high school when I was in the middle of searching for the one I wanted and needed to be with. The one person that my body and soul yearned for, but didn’t know where to find him. I’m sure many can relate to this.
Life,
death.
Everything covers her.
She wants them both.
The growing need
it pushes her,
to do something
that most won’t.
She holds her death in one hand.
Seven pills in a fist.
It is funny that that is God’s number,
for he will be seeing her
after this.
Another poem from my past.