Don’t let the refusal to forgive someone or something hold you back from the happiness that is just within your reach. Holding onto anger or blame puts a dark spot on your soul that only becomes bigger with each passing vexed thoughts. Holding onto that dark spot gives it the control it needs to slowly eat away at your well being, leaving you driven only by your anger or hatred towards someone or something.
Let yourself heal. Know that we are all human and make mistakes. Know that getting hurt is just part of the journey to make you who you are meant to be. Know that it is more than possible to take control and forgive, so you can better yourself and fight through the pain with you coming out on top.
Do you really want to waste time thinking over that person? Do you really want to waste time being angry instead of feeling love towards the people who really matter? You need to forgive, so you can spend your time and your thoughts on the things and people in your life that matter most.
You are meant for bigger and better things than holding onto a vendetta towards something in your past that won’t ever change. Use your energy to forgive and heal yourself. Don’t waste your life focused on something that will only hold you back and cause you to never push forward and never reach your full potential.
Refuse not to heal. Refuse not to get better. Refuse not to let go. Do yourself a favor and heal yourself because you deserve it and are worth it. Do yourself a favor and forgive.
I just finished The Fool’s Tale by Nicole Galland and it was pretty good, besides trying to get into and understanding the politics of it, but it made me wonder what makes someone defined as a “fool”. In the book the character Gwirion is the “fool” of the story. When I try to pinpoint why exactly he was the “fool” my mind ends up jumping back and forth between one thing and the next that might have made him defined as that. The problem is that I caught myself asking many times, “Ok, I’m sure this is why he was a fool to the society, but does that really make him a fool?” or “Well, I see why he is a fool in a general sense, but with the reasoning behind why he was acting that way is he really a fool?”.
One of the examples that showed me that he was a general fool for the kingdom was that Gwirion was the kingdom’s entertainer. He made crude awful jokes and set up pranks constantly that no one else would have been allowed or dared to do for they would have been sentenced to death. So yes, that made him a fool although in that time era in the book in those parts of the world the “fool” or jester wasn’t a part of society or the kingdom, and when the king was told that there were people who did what Gwirion did as a job title, he thought that very interesting and entertaining. Now, the whole reasoning behind why Gwirion did the things he did is what makes him opposite of a “fool” in my mind. The reason he made horrible pranks and acted ridiculous a majority of the time was because the king who he had grown up with needed him to. The king depended on Gwirion’s sense of humor to help him relax and get through the horrible politics of being a king. So, Gwirion was willing to make a fool of himself for his best friend/his king and live a life in complete servitude with no freedom for his kingdom.
With that being said, after many years of no real freedom and only servitude Gwirion ended up craving freedom and the want to live for himself. In that desire he ended up acting on a very foolish yearning when he fell in love with the queen. Although, the queen’s marriage to the king was only treated as a political gain and the king often mistreated their marriage by straying, falling in love with a married queen is a very foolish thing to do, but as we know as humans a lot of times falling in love can’t be helped. So, looking at it without knowing the full story I don’t think that him falling in love is what made him a fool, but the fact that he acted on it did. Now, the full story is that the queen fell in love with him too and kept advancing on him and as hard as he tried to stay away his desires in the end conquered his conscious.
In my personal opinion a fool would be someone who does something idiotic without thinking which in turn would make life harder than it already was on himself. The problem with that is that we all see idiotic in different ways and we all don’t know the full story behind why someone might have made the choices that they did. Some people think that falling in love with certain people is a foolish and idiotic act. Some people understand that falling in love can’t be helped most of the time. Some people think that doing drugs is idiotic, but others believe that that might have been their only escape from what they were going through. You just don’t fully know unless you are that person if what you are doing is entirely foolish. Even if you are that person making the decisions, you still might not know if what you are doing is entirely foolish because we are all very complex creatures who second-guess ourselves constantly. The only thing that I can think of that makes sense to me in trying to put all of this together is that we are all fools or no one is a fool at all. The author herself made the “fool” of the story’s name, Gwirion, to mean both mean innocent and foolish, meaning that the writer herself knew that he was innocent the entire time while he was doing the foolish things that he did, and although everyone saw him as the “fool” he really wasn’t. So how many people do we see as fools who really aren’t, or are we all just fools because as humans we make mistakes all the time that others view as stupid?
When we were children we didn’t have much control of our lives, but now that we are adults we finally the freedom to have the control we have been waiting for! We finally don’t have to be trapped in a nightmare of a situation anymore waiting until we are old enough to leave and walk away from the things that might be hurting us. We don’t HAVE to live in the town that we might hate. We don’t have to depend on others to pay for us to get the help and things that we need. Finally, we can make our own decisions to get where we need to go and be who we want to be. Yes, we have some limitations of course, everyone does, but if you find your way to play your cards right you could get to the point where money isn’t a limit, where sickness isn’t a limit, and where your mental health isn’t a limit for you anymore either.
With having more freedom to choose where we live and who we have around in our life, if we get ourselves into messy situations as an adult that is mostly on us now, not our parents anymore so we can’t blame them. We had made the choices we did to get ourselves into that sucky situation and now we have more of the tools to help us find a way out than we might of had as a kid. Take control and stop complaining. Leave the people behind who hurt you, unlike you couldn’t do when you were younger and were trapped and abused. You are in control now. Take control and stop letting people destroy you. You have the ability to decide and get yourself where you need to be. You have the ability now to live the life you want to live.
Yes, I know. It isn’t fair how much we may have been damaged from our childhood. It isn’t right that our past haunts us everyday and we can literally feel it holding us back from happiness. It is unjust that we did nothing wrong as children, but our souls and mentality got destroyed anyway.
But now you can walk away from all of that. You can work on leaving as much of that in the past as possible. You can use some of that pain and disaster to find a way to help others. You can better yourself through the pain and become a better person than you ever thought possible for you to be.
All you have to do is take the next step and decide. Make a plan on what you need to do or who you need to seek for help. Pick the best people or things in your life that give you the most inspiration and that give you love to have around. Find things that make you feel admired and that make you feel inspired. Search for things that help you love life and heal.
It is a lot like picking a beautiful flower. Choose to pick a beautiful life. Not a poisonous one. Not one that makes you feel lonely and sad and helps you achieve nothing. Pick one that helps you grow and love who you are.
Don’t be afraid to like childish things! Liking childish things doesn’t make you childish! Avoiding or not making time for your responsibilities FOR childish things is what makes you childish! There is nothing wrong with enjoying yourself in life while doing the things you need to do. If anything it will make the things you need to do easier and more enjoyable! For example, I love pokemon. I don’t consume myself in it, but there is nothing wrong with going to the grocery store or working out in pokemon attire. It makes me a little more light hearted and happier and it also reminds me of who I am! Enjoy and accept yourself! Enjoying yourself while making progress will only help you love yourself more!
What do we see in someone when we say “Wow! That person is awesome!”? What makes them “awesome” in our opinion? What makes them grab our attention and go “wow!”?
It is the fact that they have achieved something. That they have shown that they had made it through an obstacle or hardship no matter how big or small. It is the observation by us that they have tried, gave it their all, and had put in the work and effort to get to where they are today.
Do you know what is awesome? Trying. Do you know what is awesome? Giving when you have nothing to give. Do you know what is awesome? Kindness. Creativity. Showing us the real you.
Some awesome people in my opinion are the people who put themselves out there to be heard because for some, like myself, that is hard work. Anyone who has taken time out of their day to push their bodies a little bit further in fitness than they are used to are awesome to me. Even people who usually work themselves to death and decide to take a day of rest are awesome to me because giving yourself a break is hard. People who give to help others with their time, money, or kindness are also awesome to me because time, money, and kindness are hard to come by and even harder to give for some people. It is all about stepping out of your comfort zone and for once not taking the easy way out but trying something difficult for you to help you grow.
So why don’t you pick yourself up and conquer your hardships? Why don’t you push yourself even just an inch more than you are used to everyday? You are just that one step away from being awesome in the eyes of others and most importantly yourself. You could be that one person who people look up to and go “Wow! He/She is awesome!”. You could be that one person who you smile at in the morning when looking at yourself in the mirror saying to yourself “Wow. I’m awesome!”.
It isn’t conceited. It isn’t wrong. It is right for you to love yourself and to be happy with who you are. You are capable of great things and one of the greatest things you are capable of is loving yourself. And one of the greatest gifts we are given is the ability to try.
So go that extra inch or mile today to help you become who you want to be! Push yourself just a little bit harder so you can be that “Wow! They are awesome!” person! Even if you don’t make it to your goal. Even if it takes time. Trying is awesome and trying is what makes YOU awesome.
I would highly recommend the book The Power Of When by Michael Breus, PhD, if you feel like you are lacking time and energy to do all the things you want and need to do while feeling at your best. Before I read this book I felt like a mess. I was tired when I didn’t want to be. When I finally had time to write I was falling asleep and not doing it to what I believed was the best of my ability. When it was time to turn in for the night I would lay awake for hours not being able to fall asleep. Also, which I’m sure many people could relate to, when my husband and I finally got some time together we were crabby with each other because we were so exhausted from our busy days.
Now, since reading the book and doing what it has said for the last month I feel like a whole new person. I am much happier, feel great about my productivity, and enjoy my time with husband and kids more. The best part for me though is the fact that I can lie down in bed now and literally fall asleep in five to ten minutes instead of wasting hours getting frustrated with myself for not being able to sleep, and my sleep quality has improved so I don’t have to sleep as much!
I can’t follow the advice and scientific evidence given in the book exactly, because I have two kids, but it really has made a difference in my life with just the small changes I have made. If you are looking for something to help you learn to manage your time better and help you become a better you, I would look into it!
You NEED to dream! You NEED to fight for your dreams! You NEED to conquer your fight. You NEED to love. You NEED to live to love. And you NEED to take a moment to breathe to REALLY live.
Just some thoughts to keep in mind and take to heart. Dream, fight, conquer, love, live, breathe.