Well now is sadly the time that I was hoping was never going to come. It is time for me to start backing off a little on my working out/exercising. These last few weeks I have felt way too emotional, depressed, and exhausted. It is getting to the point where I can’t even make it through the day without breaking down and crying and wanting to just lay on the floor and pass out. Even during working out or running lately I’ve stopped now more often than not to cry my eyes out cause of having such a hard time trying to finish. I know that I shouldn’t be this exhausted and tired during just the end of my second trimester. This is supposed to be the happy trimester where I feel great and energized again until the last one hits me. At first I thought that it may just be hormones that are causing me to be way too emotional and making it so I can’t hold myself together, but when I thought more into it I realized that my body is just not wanting to carry itself, and if my body is having this hard of a time functioning right now, I’m worried about the health of the baby.
This is hard for me to do because I am so used to pushing myself to my breaking point, and that is what I have been doing lately, but I have another life in me to worry and think about. This is the most I have done with any of my pregnancies. Some days sometimes more than three times a week consists of hour and a half long workouts that are the same as I was doing before I got pregnant. I had it in my head wrongly that I should be progressing just like I usually do when I push myself during exercise. Usually you get better and stronger, and it is hard to wrap your head around the fact that when you are pregnant you slowly digress and things get harder. I was doing so good for so long that I honestly wasn’t expecting the time to slow down to come so soon. I know I need to be easier on myself mentally because it is just part of the process, but it is hard when I’m always in such desperation to reach my goals and to be the best I can be, which sometimes I know that the me I want to be can be unrealistic. Multiple times my husband has told me that I’m going to kill myself with how much I’m trying to do at one time and how much I push myself. But I realize that my ultimate dream and goal is to be the best mother I can be, so I need to back off for now until my baby’s life isn’t in the brink. I want my body to be able to give her everything she needs and I need to be in a healthier happier state of mind especially with the holidays coming up so I can be the mother I need to be for my other two kids and for the baby when the time comes. Pushing myself to exhaustion and getting upset at myself for not seeing progress isn’t going to help anyone at all, least of all myself. Our baby’s life is more important to me than my desperation to not look like a failure and to feel some kind of success and self worth.
So I’m slowly going to back down. For example after my hour long workout today I ran 2 miles instead of 3.5, which I don’t mind at all since it is starting to get freezing out making it harder to run anyway. Depending on the day and what my body tells me will depend on how I take my workouts. I might cut my hour ones in half or my biking or running mileage down on some days. Other days that I have half an hour workouts I’m probably going to do the whole workout and cardio routine like I have been if I feel up to it, until I hit near the end of my pregnancy and know I need to cut way down. I’m beginning to see that maybe P90x and 21Day Fix Extreme and Core De Force may not be the best to do when you are 36 weeks pregnant. I will just pay more attention and listen to my body and give my body what it needs when that time comes like I am deciding to do now.
Here are my comparisons for week 20 in all my pregnancies and week 22 in all my pregnancies. We will see if I manage to keep up with the staying more fit this time around like I have been, which may be possible since I am still and still plan to do more in the fitness department than my other two pregnancies even with backing down a little.
Week 20
Week 22
As you can tell in my arms in the second set of pictures that I am way more muscular than I was in previous pregnancies. The picture of me in the blue shirt right above is from my second pregnancy and my arms just look so small to me compared to now. so weight lifting and push ups and things like that that I have been doing has definitely helped with keeping the muscles there.
Regaining Lost Aspects: Mind and Soul 