In my previous post from last week, I explained how my husband worked nonstop which left me countless days and hours with myself. Some days were harder than others and sometimes no matter how hard I tried to keep myself and my mind busy, the doubts, fear, and depression came working their way into my soul. I said I would continue from last weeks post with a few more poems that were deeper and more broken from some of my harder days. Here they are.
Having a hard time holding on.
Too many things broken to fix.
Broken love, broken soul, broken promises
with no mending on your list.
Sick of no time to rebuild.
Sick of no time on your watch.
Sick of little children’s tears
and mommy stuck cleaning up.
Sick of hearing “Where’s daddy?”
Sick of what was important being no more.
Sick of underappreciating
what once was us before you opened this door.
Don’t know if I can hold on any longer.
Having a hard time not letting go.
Don’t know if we will ever have time to fix this,
since it’s just like you to never show.
In Need Of Touchable Nostalgia
Tears falling down.
Not what I used to be.
No where to be found.
Can’t be a good mommy,
when all I carry is grief.
All I need is to see you.
I need things how they used to be.
Want You Back
I loved it when you cared.
I loved it when I could open up.
I loved you when you were you,
before you gave all that up.
You went into the darkness.
The darkness I tried so hard to hide.
Working for things that don’t matter.
No more caring what’s inside.
Dreams are what took you.
Good intentions, you’re falling fast.
Demons are what lead you
down this long lost path.
Please come back to us.
I’m begging for you, please.
Family isn’t what it is without you.
We aren’t what we used to be.
We all cry for you in the distance.
Just wanting you to come home.
We really don’t care about the money.
We just want you back to hold.