
Guide my luck
Bury my faith
For if I think for a minute
I surely will break.
Fear in me rising
Nightmares need drowned.
Got to keep going
A risk can’t be found.
Regaining Lost Aspects: Mind and Soul
Through book events, poetry, and creativity, we dive a little deeper into humanity.
Guide my luck
Bury my faith
For if I think for a minute
I surely will break.
Fear in me rising
Nightmares need drowned.
Got to keep going
A risk can’t be found.
I missed the event I was planning on attending this last Thursday because we were at the visitation of a beloved family member who passed away this last Sunday due to Covid. To tell you Covid is scary is just yelling out into a loud screaming wind. These last few weeks were hell for us along with the nurses and doctors working on my 50 year old father-in-law’s case. The fear, confusion, and sadness are things that I wish no one had to experience in all of this.
This was my father-in-law, Patrick Michaels. He was unconditional love. He was an amazing grandpa, father, brother, cousin, and so many other titles that he always ended up rocking. We loved him dearly and he loved us so much that he fought for his kids and grandkids harder than many of the nurses had seen anyone fight up until his very last breath. Seeing him fight a battle that could not be won was just so devastating. I will honor him and love him forever, but wish that we could have done it while making many more memories.
I am blogging this to honor what a hero you were and always have been. You have raised some amazing children who you live on in. You have created a legacy. I don’t know how many ways you have saved your two sons and daughter spiritually, but I do know that it was enough to build them into the amazing people they are today. Just know that each of your grandkids and their kids will always have a piece of you. You will live on forever in all of our souls and even the ones after. Your love is a love that will stretch generations to come. And your heart is one we will miss the most.
Writing can be intimidating. With every single sentence and every single word we write, we often begin to second guess ourselves. Especially if what we are writing is for more eyes than our own. How are we supposed to get away from that, especially if we are wanting to become professional writers? Do we ever break away from that? Is that something that just follows us forever? Will we ever have enough confidence in ourselves just to write?
We have this mold. And this mold is the self that we want to shape ourselves into and how we believe we should be seen. It is a container held in by our fear. The fear that if you step out of this shape that people will hate you, that you will get rejected, that your ideas won’t be competent enough, and that you will find out once and for all that you as a person and a writer aren’t good enough. Because of that we end up living in these little boxes only sharing and showing the same things over and over again that we know fit into this mold and that everyone likes. It is hard to step out. It is hard to be unique. It is hard to be ourselves. It is hard just to have fun writing.
Like writing this. It is hard. You can bet I am nervous. It is hard to write just what I want to write and to have enough confidence in myself to share it. It is hard to even speak my ideas, let alone let myself build up these great plans that I know I love and think are fantastic, but for some reason can’t help but to think what if other people don’t feel the same way? It is hard to step away from the fear of being proven wrong and feeling my already own shaky self-image start to crumble. It is hard to ignore all the self-doubts in my head and shove them aside just to have fun writing.
But the real question is what if no one gets to love and experience your brilliance and your ideas? What if you could really get somewhere and be great? What if you are holding yourself back from the amazing person you already are?
What do you do?
The only answer I have for you to be able to break through is to WRITE. Just write. And have fun doing it. We all know that writing fills up the soul in ways nothing else can, but what we don’t know is each time you write you become braver. You gain more courage and strength to speak your words because if you did it once, you can do it again, and again, and again, and show the world and yourself that you have a voice. That you have courage. That you have passion. And that each time you can break more from your mold. Every time I give myself permission to just write what I want and just let myself fall into my love for writing it becomes easier, like a muscle needing worked.
Let your writing break your mold for you. Let it slip through the cracks and test the waters so you can realize that you are safe and you are ok and you can put yourself out to the world. Let yourself prove to yourself that you can be who you are, write what you want, and have fun doing it! That your uniqueness is something that can be craved.
My mold that keeps me from sharing and spreading my ideas, my stories, my worlds, and my escapes every day begins to break and crack. And personally, writing and sharing this has been more for myself than anyone else. It is a nice reminder to look back on and to hold myself up to. My own words to live by. If I hadn’t written this, where would I be today?
Confined by my mold.
But instead I am working on breaking free.